dear porn people

Okay, I realize “porn people” is not the technical name of their company. But, it sounds better than reality.

There is a reason I subscribe to this Netflix of porn – type service. I can watch what they send & return it. On the off chance I find it outstanding*, I keep it longer, or buy it outright for a bargain. It keeps clutter down, I have no pesky naughty DVD collection to hide.

If it’s terrible, I send it back quicker, not worrying that I wasted my purchase price.
I don’t have to go to skeevy shops where men look at me the way a Doberman eyes a burglar.

I get bored. I don’t want to see the same porn over and over. It can’t be that good. I make a wishlist, I can read reviews, I am able to pause the service if I go on vacation (so the office, in getting the overflow of my mailbox, doesn‘t know my perverted habits), I’ve been very happy.

What makes you think giving me DVD‘s as a gift for being a loyal customer is what I want? A free month of service? Great. An upgrade for a month? Sure. Four random videos I’m sure will make me laugh, as opposed to other desired result? No thanks.

Oh, and the titles of these free movies… so bad they’re funny. I wonder if I can title porn for a living. Probably not. Damn.

Now, I’m left wondering what to do with said DVD’s. Turn them into some rockin’ coasters? Donate them to a local library? Save them in my closet, for when I need an unexpected birthday or hostess gift?

* hasn’t happened yet.

2 thoughts on “dear porn people

  1. I have heard (ahem) rave reviews for youporn.com and redtube.com. Completely free online stuff. I wouldn’t be surprised if amateur porn doesn’t put a dent in the pro business.

    Like

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