I was reading Seeking Answers post a short while ago and thought this was a useful exercise. I thought it would be a good idea to do in my present relationship.

Name the top five things that I need to be happy in my relationship. Don’t think about it; just name five things off the top of your head.

1. acceptance

2. love

3. trust

4. affection

5. attention

I think they change, I think I need some things more than others now, and perhaps less at another time. I think my answers today might be different than my answers a few weeks ago or several days from now. I think love seemed to be the “be all and end all” when I was younger, now I want to be accepted as me first, because that’s been hard for most of the people I’ve loved. I know now that it’s ok to need attention and affection from my partner, even if that makes me “needier” than other people. I think sex in my head is tied into affection, but perhaps it should be separate. Security is a given if I feel I have those things above, so I don’t feel I need to specifically lay it out. It’s interesting because the more I think about it, the more I wonder how it could change.