I don’t like being sick. It makes me feel weak and sad. It makes me regret taking a job where there’s no one to cover for me; no sick time, paid or otherwise. It makes me feel lazy and tired. I can barely talk, I can’t function normally.

I wonder if I’ll ever get more than behind. When I was laid off, I was grateful to have found a job. Now, 6 months in, all the things I thought I could change aren’t changing. My employer has not embraced all my ideas, for fear that things change more. He’s not comfortable with that. I’m not comfortable stagnating.

I cough until I nearly pass out, and yet I’m still working. My weekends I’m on call, and despite pleas to the contrary, I’m often going in on my days off. My probationary period ended months ago, with no raise or benefits since, though both were promised.

I’m tired. I’m sick. I’m sick and tired of the job. I’m happy to be employed, and don’t want to change jobs again, but this isn’t working any more than the cold meds I took.