subtle trauma

It’s after midnight. I’ve made it through another mothers day. There was no tantrum, no sobbing. It was a pretty subdued day, I cleaned, you can tell I had stress built energy to waste. My house is organized and I’m ready to make a LOT of phone calls tomorrow. I have to spend the next ten days trying with everything inside of me to make this work. I don’t care if I’m finnagling* and wheeling and dealing until the very last moment. Because then, if we still can’t afford to do it, at least I know I tried. And if we can’t do it, I want to be able to look back years from now and know I did everything I possibly could.

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