I can’t expect him to process his way through all of this in a little more than a week. I’ve been thinking, debating for months, maybe even more, and I’ve had time to think about every consequence, opportunity, possibility.
I’m trying to be fair.
But, part of me wishes I had been more deceitful, that I had just found somewhere else to lived and left. I wouldn’t do that, I couldn’t do that to him, but I think about it.
Reminds me of this episode of Monk, where he rapidly cycles through the five stages. Which, if you think about it, is kind of funny. Also how my brain works when it comes to this. One minute I think I’m no longer angry, that I’m way ahead, into acceptance. Then I regress to denial and jump forward to bargaining.
Oh yeah, you know it; I won’t fit into some stupid model, I like to buck the system.