explicit emails

Okay. I debated sharing this, but it’s just too amusing. I took the ’email me’ link off when I got this. Those of you who want it could find it, or ask, but unsolicited emails from strange people (not to be confused with strangers) are not needed or desired.

Should you need a laugh – read this piece of lovely mail I received.

Consider yourself warned…

I am a 21 year old fire fighter/EMT and would like to enter your house
in my bunker pants for an unknown emergency. You will be wearing
spandex or something tight fitting and will string me along until I
feel the need to give you a detailed body exam. At some point you have
difficulty breathing and require mouth to mouth which turns into me
giving you a dose of penis-cilin (how it is administered is up to you).
As I said I am 21 and thus due to my high libido I might feel like 2nds
in the shower. I am 6ft, wight 195 I have a great ass and wear my hair
very short. I am not able to host but would be willing to meet you
almost any day after noon or into the evening. If we do this it is
paramount that your neighbors don’t see me in uniform because the last
thing I want is tough questions when a fire engine arrives on the front
door to investigate the situation. I have included a body/face pic and
can send a penis pic if you want. I would like a pic of you and if you
could give me a preview of the outfit you feels fits the situation I
would get even more excited. I can’t host so where would you like to do
this? I am willing to act on your fantasies so feel free to make a
counter offer and perfecly happy to use my tongue.

9 thoughts on “explicit emails

  1. There’s funny. There’s hilarious. And then there’s that email.
    Congratulations on attracting the coveted 18-32 Pervy/Smarmy Firefighter demographic. 😀


  2. There is something good to be said for any man who would send this sort of stuff unsolicited. He is being very very clear. He leaves no doubt that he is an utter moron.
    So much the better to find that out now than to develop a relationship with him and find it out later.
    The saddest part of all this is his moronic actions have closed the door to real feedback you might get from honest readers. 😉


  3. Oh man, that’s too much. I always wonder what people who send stuff like that expect to get in return. It isn’t real likely that you are going to be all “woo hoo! near pornographic ramblings from some freak I don’t know! Let me get right back to him!” Or does he not understand that?


  4. You know what the strangest part is? I get the same e-mails!
    And I keep responding that I only take prescription medication, nothing over the counter. I tried asking my doctor for a prescription for penis-cilin, but he just gave me a confused look and now he won’t see me anymore.
    There are only so many primary care physicians in the area who accept my insurance, so after the fourth such incident, like you I had to remove the temptation from those who would send me such e-mails.


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