Well, I spoke with my brother this week about him and his girlfriend moving to Nashville.
Back in the end of May, the idea of him & her moving in with us temporarily was discussed briefly. My husband agreed to throw my brother some work until he found a job. His girlfriend did her research and she applied to colleges as a transfer. We hadn’t heard much from them since.
Originally, when we talked about them coming here, I saw the benefits and the downfalls. I think my husband was enthusiastic
because he figured if my brother and his girlfriend lived with us – I would have to stay.
They called us last week while we were in DC to let us know that she received some good financial aid packages. I was caught off guard. Mostly because I’m consumed with my own life; but partly since we hadn’t talked to them in a few weeks.
I could have said yes. A part of me thought I could just let them come and see how it goes. It would be nice to have family here. I would also love to help my brother and his girlfriend make a new start. I thought about how fun it might be to have built in company.
I played it like I was giving them the option. Telling them we were having problems, letting them decide if they wanted to proceed knowing that. I also shared that the number of hours promised to my brother had dwindled. My brother talked his girlfriend out of it, as far as I can tell. I know they’re disappointed, but they didn’t take it as badly as I thought they would. I still feel like I’ve let them down.
Overwhelmingly, I knew that with them around, we’d have to go back to pretending we were fine. I don’t think I can pretend anymore.
I can’t sacrifice myself for everyone else. I feel like I’ve done that my entire life.