wanting

Sometimes we struggle with what we want.  Maybe it’s hard to think about it when we don’t have it.  Maybe it seems too far out of reach; maybe we’re tired of working towards something that rarely comes to fruition.

We all want for the basics.  To be happy.   To be healthy.  To be loved.

We elaborate from there.  We want to be comfortable, maybe wealthy.  We want challenging careers.  We want people around us to support us.  We want to be able to help others.

You start to get into the specifics.  Sometimes this is where the material, and even the frivolous things come in.  Sometimes, we want better.  We want a bigger house, a nicer car.  We want to replace that old TV, enroll the kids in classes.  We want a vacation, a weekend away.  We want to be able to treat ourselves, our families, maybe our friends.  We want a new coat, that cute pair of shoes, that newly released game.

But I keep going back to asking myself “what do I want?” and what that means for me now, where I am.  The answers can change, slightly, but they usually remain the same.  It’s both a hard and easy question to answer.

If you wanted for nothing, I can’t imagine life would be very fulfilling.  It’s a nice concept, having everything you want, but maybe overrated in reality.  That said, I don’t suppose any of us would mind being granted everything we wanted.  Wanting keeps you hungry.

2 thoughts on “wanting

  1. Want is a very powerful motivator and everyone colors it with the tint of their glasses. However, you have a very good reason for normalcy and for substantial tangible things that you simply won’t get from your marriage. You can either be the martyr and the good wife or you can decide that life is too short to settle and move on.
    I’m going to temporarily make this about me as I explain that I once had a similar decision to make in life, obviously not as difficult as yours – but difficult for me. Anyway, I made a decision and I moved on. Sometimes I still regret that decision – as regret is the one thing I can’t seem to escape. I’m a bit of a “dweller”. However, I do think that it was beneficial for me to make the decision to move on no matter the outcome or the regret.
    Life is, as they say, what you make of it. And I think the key word in that quaint little saying is “make” which indicates that it’s not a passive obligation. Don’t wither from making a decision – you are ALLOWED to be selfish. A marriage should be equal parts. And whether those parts come from tangible things in the marriage or the subtle satisfactions of the relationship – it’s designed to be equal. It’s MEANT to be equal and you are well within your rights to not be satisfied – public opinion be damned.

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