Once upon a time I told my ex I just wasn’t the kind of girl who could be happy. I realize now that I just couldn’t be happy there, in that marriage, with him.
I feel happiness now. Sometimes it catches me off guard; when I’m doing something little like wandering around a store or riding in the car. Sometimes snuggled up watching a movie or cooking. I’m happy and I haven’t been in such a long time. I’m not sure I’ve ever been this happy.
There’s part of me that wants to question it. Another part that worries that it can’t last. But you know what? I’m gonna enjoy it. Maybe at times my worries will get the best of me, and I know I won’t be happy every moment of every day, but there’s a little part of each day lately where I’m finding happiness, and that’s enough for me.
It’s a good feeling, isn’t it?
I’ve been working on allowing the happiness without the guilt. It’s not always easy.
I’m happy to hear that you are happy.
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You know my wife has often told me that she does not think I can be happy. I use to think maybe she was right but now I wonder what she will think if I am happy when I am not with her. I hate the idea of hurting her but also secretly like the idea of her knowing it was not me.
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