My mother is not the comfort she once was.

I don’t know how to feel about this fact.

My sister and I have spoken at length about our parents lately. Life has not necessarily been kind to them and at 66, we’re exploring the need for assisted living scenarios.

Neither of my parents is well.

My mother is not the same person she was. While I’m sure age and circumstance affect many, some of this is her personality change after a stroke. She refuses to accept some factors, and to work towards changing them, while others she falls into completely, because it’s easier.

I love her but I hate her. I miss her and she’s still here. I grieve who she was and the relationships we all had with her. It’s heartbreaking to hear my dad speak about her lately. Or her best friend. I’m very conflicted between wanting to support her and dragging her, depending on the moment.

Aging is unkind.

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