I’m not sure if it’s cyclical, or hormonal. Maybe it’s just something I can only fight off for a certain period of time.
I am being a bitch. Not just the snarky sarcastic version of myself everyone has come to love and adore. The over-emotional, insult-muttering uber-bitch.
Why? Because I’m holding it all in. The anger. The frustration, resentment, guilt, fear, disappointment. They all build.
Add to that the fact that I feel wasted. Not in the fun way, in the “I’m young, (I’d like to think) desirable, and I can’t accept this” way
The resignation on his part galls me. At 41, he feels okay with this.
I would like to scream. Or cry.
It’s gotten to the point where I’m not attracted to him. I love him, but out of familiarity and time. It’s hard for me to admit it, but it’s a fact.
So, I curse, bitch and mutter.