bitching, cursing, what good girls shouldn’t do

I’m not sure if it’s cyclical, or hormonal. Maybe it’s just something I can only fight off for a certain period of time.

I am being a bitch. Not just the snarky sarcastic version of myself everyone has come to love and adore. The over-emotional, insult-muttering uber-bitch.

Why? Because I’m holding it all in. The anger. The frustration, resentment, guilt, fear, disappointment. They all build.

Add to that the fact that I feel wasted. Not in the fun way, in the “I’m young, (I’d like to think) desirable, and I can’t accept this” way

The resignation on his part galls me. At 41, he feels okay with this.

I would like to scream.  Or cry.

Mostly cry.

It’s gotten to the point where I’m not attracted to him. I love him, but out of familiarity and time. It’s hard for me to admit it, but it’s a fact.

So, I curse, bitch and mutter.

3 thoughts on “bitching, cursing, what good girls shouldn’t do

  1. Sounds like the last thing Comcast needs is to have an outage in your area tonight. 😉
    Seriously, I’m sorry to read about the rest of it. That is a rough kind of “wasted.”

    Like

  2. Hm, I haven’t been reading your blog very long…I’m sure there’s a reason why you’re still in the marriage, right?
    I should read more before I comment further.

    Like

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