if things had been different

Today, I would have been celebrating a little girl’s 4th birthday. I think of the baby we named all the time, think about how May 24th was my due date. My heart is not as broken as it once was, but it still hurts. I’m pretty sure it always will.

I can’t go to the tree in the park where I put flowers in her honor/name. But, I’ll say a prayer and try not to cry.

Ugh, enough with sadness and anger. I am getting aggravated with myself.

2 thoughts on “if things had been different

  1. Hi Kate – I admit I have not been visiting your site long enough to get the details of your life. But I know some things.
    I appreciate that you talk about things that I will not talk about on my site. I am not shy, but I am also not anonymous. So I do not frequently share very personal information although I’m sure stuff leaks out.
    I want to let you know that you and I do share some common experiences. I do not have any children. This has not been a personal choice. It was a long battle that I lost. I had simple dreams that most people have but I could not see them fulfilled. This has left me with a giant hole in my heart that will probably never be filled.
    I too was once married, went through years of painful fertility treatments, was finally successful and months later there was no more heartbeat on the ultrasound. And I’m not married anymore.
    I feel for you today in a very personal way and I hope you can feel me reaching across the map and holding your hand.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s