one week

Next Sunday, I’ll be leaving.

I’m overwhelmed at the thought of walking out the door, knowing that no matter what has happened, I’m breaking his heart.

I do believe it’s better in the long run.  I believe it’s best for both of us.  I believe I’m doing what I have to do.

Still, I know, even with all the conversations; even with everything we’ve gone through, there’s so much he doesn’t understand.  I know when I close that door behind me, he’ll be behind it, he’ll be devastated and so very hurt.

But, I still have to go; and he’ll never know that it hurts me too.

9 thoughts on “one week

  1. It’s very very hard to hurt someone who loves you. Ouch. I hope the time heals all wounds thing kicks in sooner rather than later. E-hugs and all. For both of you.

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  2. This has to be so hard, Kate. Knowing you’re hurting him has to be the worst part, but sometimes things have to be done (not that I’m giving advice on what you should do.)
    Hugs from me.

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  3. I always want to say I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I can imagine so well through your words. My heart breaks just a little bit with each post I read, and I’m impressed with your resolve and strength.

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  4. Kate, as always, your writing brings me back. If I can be a listening ear, please let me know. Be strong, be brave. If you know in your heart of hearts you are doing the right thing then let no one impede your progress.

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  5. Just as and FYI My story isn’t so very different. I was married for all of 9 months before I cheated. I cheated for many reasons, but I owned it and walked out after I did, because I knew in my heart I’d do it again, that she could never trust me again and that I doubted her ability to become an affectionate and physical person.
    So be it.
    The last 2+ years have been rough and I’ve paid a high price but man has it been fun.
    Don’t let ANYONE tell you that you don’t have the right to be sad an heart broken. It sucks just as much from either side of a divorce.

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  6. Oooh boy. You are me – about 9 years ago. Ouch ouch ouch. I know it all too well.
    It does get better. I promise. Though it will be a very bumpy road to better. I promise that too. Just be prepared. But it WILL get better.
    Glad you posted at Megan’s site 🙂

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