bullies and cliques

I’m not someone who gets involved in drama if I can help it. I try not to gossip, and while I’m not always good at it, I try not to worry what everyone thinks of me.

However these things get started, I try my best to stay out of them. Then I find out they involve me.  A friend, and former coworker took me to lunch and informed me of some goings on that I should be aware of. She let me know I may want to remove some ladies as “friends” on Facebook.

I am NOT a Facebook person. I only joined out of guilt to stay in touch with siblings, cousins and such back home. I have about 20 friends total, most of whom I’m related to. I had a few of my coworkers request to be friends on there. I declined those I no longer cared to speak with, and approved a couple.

I know Facebook can be a dangerous place. For bullying, for stalking, for catching indiscretions and taking wistful glances at first loves. It seemed innocent enough, I don’t post much, I don’t put up pics of me doing anything inappropriate. However, it seems these “friends” decided to approach me on Facebook simply for ammunition. They used my occasional posts and pictures as fodder for jokes, commenting on my relationship, my activities, my appearance, my home, my weight.

They didn’t say anything to me. They never commented on things, they never really responded to anything I said. I assumed they were busy. However, these were women I trusted, that I did consider friends, that I thought loved me in that way we love our friends like family.

I was wrong. It hurts. I feel betrayed. I’m mad at the friend for telling me, because I wonder why she had to share this with me, knowing I wouldn’t know otherwise. I don’t make friends easily, I don’t trust many people and I don’t like letting people in.

As a teen, I was bullied, I didn’t fit in. I didn’t even have that ONE friend that so many of the kids on the fringe have. I had people I sat with at lunch, but they found excuses for not coming to my birthday party, even though I went to all of theirs, spending my babysitting money on gifts I had really thought about. I gave up on the idea of real friends when some of mine disappeared as they had children and I didn’t; as my life progressed, as I got divorced.

Slowly, I’ve tried. I have another friend I met that I have spent time with and I’m almost there with her. I just have a really hard time. This doesn’t make it easier.

6 thoughts on “bullies and cliques

  1. I’ve been there. I don’t even know you, but I am really angry for you – this stupid, immature mean-girl bullshit pisses me off because the only reason to tear down someone else is because they’ve got something really rotten inside themselves. They are nasty little cockroaches that don’t deserve another thought and I hope you don’t let anything they’ve said or done hurt you for long.

    I also don’t make friends easily. I don’t have close friends other than my husband and I don’t have a support system of family and friends. I gave up long ago of finding “real” friends since I don’t trust most people and I don’t care about putting myself out there anymore. I don’t even have a Facebook or any other social media setup other than my (anonymous) blog just because the less I put myself out there, the less chance of getting hurt. Sucks to be so cut off, but that’s what works for me. I hope that isn’t the path you go down, but I can understand it for sure.

    The best thing I could tell you is to drop those little bitches, block them from accessing any of your profile, and forget they even existed. Maybe take your whole profile private and cherry-pick who you want to stay in touch with?

    Your letting them into your life isn’t a failure or reflection on you at all – you were trying to reach out and trusting them to be your friend and they are the ones that are filled with so much hate and evil that they can’t even act like human beings.

    You are a good person who deserves so much better.


  2. I used to spend a lot of time on facebook but just lately I’ve been mostly using it to play things like pyramid solitaire. I’ve also take off several friends who really weren’t. I’m trying to streamline my online life and sad to say I’ve seen similar situations to what you describe happen to too many people. Facebook used to be such a great site but it’s really getting quite scary and even dangerous now. I’m sorry you’ve had such a bad experience (((hugs)))


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