I should be

I realized last night that I’d be 35/36 weeks by now. That what would have been my due date is only about a month away…I’ve been taking everything so hard lately. The real possibility of a hysterectomy has me worried, and I feel like the dream of being a mother is further and further from ever being a reality.

I’m trying to stay focused on all the other things going on, but I get distracted.

In other news – car repairs suck. Does anyone know if you can get sick from smelling too much gasoline? Yesterday my car smelled to and from school. That’s 3 + hours of REALLY strong fumes. When I got home and got out of the car, I threw up, but I still feel yucky. My father in law took the car to the garage because I couldn’t stand to drive it. I could smell it from several feet away. But, it’s a Friday and a car that leaks gas is now at the garage where they’ll try to look at it later today. I have a ton of stuff to do for a RESOLVE event tomorrow and I have no car. It’s aggravating. his parents are leaving for a cruise tomorrow and would they let us borrow their car? Nope. There are a few things going on with them right now, but if things don’t improve, I can’t see us having a good relationship with them anymore.

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